I woke up just as you described and laughed with real enjoyment reading your substack. God; why aren’t there t-shirts with “optimize your despair” on them? Thank you for this entertaining and at once insightful meditation! Would you give me permission to quote your headline and direct my (handful of) followers to your writing?
I must say, the idea of a T-shirt emblazoned with “Optimize Your Despair” is as delightful as it is absurd, a perfect reflection of the strange times we live in. And yes, I believe there is something quite beautiful in that.
You, of course, have my permission to quote the headline and share it with your followers, however many or few they may be. We are, after all, navigating this strange life together.
Your reply delights. I love that…Optimise your despair…I shall do that today ….i feel like baking a cake or making the best bread and butter pudding that I can make, starting peaceful negotiations with someone who is often very difficult to be with and with whom, I am often embattled but cannot reject because I know his hurting places and I know I have wings …quietly loosely furled but not broken. Optimise Despair and Create Desire … the desire to thrive and be open to the blood coursing in my veins - my life. Thanks for your thoughts.
Me too please. This cracked me up as I am one of many espousing the virtues of a morning routine to my detox tribe (yes, I lead online cleanses) and I always say "optimize your health (despair)." Thank you! We really mustn't take anything in this life too seriously (especially ourselves).
Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
5 false myths, and 12 serious concerns.
One of the most confusing and difficult issues many adult children of narcissistic parents face is how to navigate the relationship between our children and our parents.
Even after identifying the dysfunction in our parents and acknowledging the neglect and abuse we grew up with, we may make misguided assumptions about our parents as grandparents that can have serious consequences for ourselves and our children.
5 False Assumptions About Narcissistic Grandparents
1. My parents will be better with my child(ren) than they were with me. The idea that our narcissistic parents will care about our kids more or treat them better than they did us is a form of wishful thinking that reflects underlying self-blame for our parents’ deficiencies. It is common for adult children to continue to carry the belief, consciously or unconsciously, that we are inherently unlovable and at fault for the ways our parents harmed us. We may think that our kids will elicit the love from our parents that we could not. Every child is lovable and deserving of nurturance and protection. People who are narcissistic do not care about....
Read More on: Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
It’s refreshing to know that they are still readers out there with the time and openness to enjoy a good read in the morning and be uplifted by it (however depressingly delightful the content).
The universe will send you what you need, precisely when you need it. This is exactly what I needed. Will this make waking up and suffering enjoyable? No. But does reading this bring me joy in a way I can't explain. Yes. Thank you for this!
Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
5 false myths, and 12 serious concerns.
One of the most confusing and difficult issues many adult children of narcissistic parents face is how to navigate the relationship between our children and our parents.
Even after identifying the dysfunction in our parents and acknowledging the neglect and abuse we grew up with, we may make misguided assumptions about our parents as grandparents that can have serious consequences for ourselves and our children.
5 False Assumptions About Narcissistic Grandparents
1. My parents will be better with my child(ren) than they were with me. The idea that our narcissistic parents will care about our kids more or treat them better than they did us is a form of wishful thinking that reflects underlying self-blame for our parents’ deficiencies. It is common for adult children to continue to carry the belief, consciously or unconsciously, that we are inherently unlovable and at fault for the ways our parents harmed us. We may think that our kids will elicit the love from our parents that we could not. Every child is lovable and deserving of nurturance and protection. People who are narcissistic do not care about....
Read More on: Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
5 false myths, and 12 serious concerns.
One of the most confusing and difficult issues many adult children of narcissistic parents face is how to navigate the relationship between our children and our parents.
Even after identifying the dysfunction in our parents and acknowledging the neglect and abuse we grew up with, we may make misguided assumptions about our parents as grandparents that can have serious consequences for ourselves and our children.
5 False Assumptions About Narcissistic Grandparents
1. My parents will be better with my child(ren) than they were with me. The idea that our narcissistic parents will care about our kids more or treat them better than they did us is a form of wishful thinking that reflects underlying self-blame for our parents’ deficiencies. It is common for adult children to continue to carry the belief, consciously or unconsciously, that we are inherently unlovable and at fault for the ways our parents harmed us. We may think that our kids will elicit the love from our parents that we could not. Every child is lovable and deserving of nurturance and protection. People who are narcissistic do not care about....
Read More on: Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
My 26 year old daughter just sent me this. (I happen to be reading Crime & Punishment right now.) It’s a treasure. I might have to get an “optimize despair” t-shirt. I’m sure it would confuse the tech bros here in Austin.
Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
5 false myths, and 12 serious concerns.
One of the most confusing and difficult issues many adult children of narcissistic parents face is how to navigate the relationship between our children and our parents.
Even after identifying the dysfunction in our parents and acknowledging the neglect and abuse we grew up with, we may make misguided assumptions about our parents as grandparents that can have serious consequences for ourselves and our children.
5 False Assumptions About Narcissistic Grandparents
1. My parents will be better with my child(ren) than they were with me. The idea that our narcissistic parents will care about our kids more or treat them better than they did us is a form of wishful thinking that reflects underlying self-blame for our parents’ deficiencies. It is common for adult children to continue to carry the belief, consciously or unconsciously, that we are inherently unlovable and at fault for the ways our parents harmed us. We may think that our kids will elicit the love from our parents that we could not. Every child is lovable and deserving of nurturance and protection. People who are narcissistic do not care about....
Read More on: Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
Thank you for structuring the relentless pursuit I’ve built my routine on, of this absurd life. Someone carved from my own soul must have written this, and as I do all of this and more - happy to report that the detachment helps.
🤣🤣 this morning I was complaining about the cold/hot water situation….cold “plunges” it is…(no hot water at the moment) It’s like the universe heard me complain and it responded with your article….thank you
I woke up just as you described and laughed with real enjoyment reading your substack. God; why aren’t there t-shirts with “optimize your despair” on them? Thank you for this entertaining and at once insightful meditation! Would you give me permission to quote your headline and direct my (handful of) followers to your writing?
Best
Scott
I must say, the idea of a T-shirt emblazoned with “Optimize Your Despair” is as delightful as it is absurd, a perfect reflection of the strange times we live in. And yes, I believe there is something quite beautiful in that.
You, of course, have my permission to quote the headline and share it with your followers, however many or few they may be. We are, after all, navigating this strange life together.
can I actually get this printed on my t-shirt? I'd love to if I have the permission!!
Thank you!
Your reply delights. I love that…Optimise your despair…I shall do that today ….i feel like baking a cake or making the best bread and butter pudding that I can make, starting peaceful negotiations with someone who is often very difficult to be with and with whom, I am often embattled but cannot reject because I know his hurting places and I know I have wings …quietly loosely furled but not broken. Optimise Despair and Create Desire … the desire to thrive and be open to the blood coursing in my veins - my life. Thanks for your thoughts.
Me too please. This cracked me up as I am one of many espousing the virtues of a morning routine to my detox tribe (yes, I lead online cleanses) and I always say "optimize your health (despair)." Thank you! We really mustn't take anything in this life too seriously (especially ourselves).
Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
5 false myths, and 12 serious concerns.
One of the most confusing and difficult issues many adult children of narcissistic parents face is how to navigate the relationship between our children and our parents.
Even after identifying the dysfunction in our parents and acknowledging the neglect and abuse we grew up with, we may make misguided assumptions about our parents as grandparents that can have serious consequences for ourselves and our children.
5 False Assumptions About Narcissistic Grandparents
1. My parents will be better with my child(ren) than they were with me. The idea that our narcissistic parents will care about our kids more or treat them better than they did us is a form of wishful thinking that reflects underlying self-blame for our parents’ deficiencies. It is common for adult children to continue to carry the belief, consciously or unconsciously, that we are inherently unlovable and at fault for the ways our parents harmed us. We may think that our kids will elicit the love from our parents that we could not. Every child is lovable and deserving of nurturance and protection. People who are narcissistic do not care about....
Read More on: Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
https://wisdombeats.substack.com/p/should-narcissistic-grandparents
It’s refreshing to know that they are still readers out there with the time and openness to enjoy a good read in the morning and be uplifted by it (however depressingly delightful the content).
Cheers
The universe will send you what you need, precisely when you need it. This is exactly what I needed. Will this make waking up and suffering enjoyable? No. But does reading this bring me joy in a way I can't explain. Yes. Thank you for this!
I just read it and oh god this is what I needed since a long time .
Optimize my despair !!
Opened my eyes to a new , different and profound view .
Thank you !!
Finally something real; I can’t stand people who paint a romanticised depiction of existing as if it isn’t unbearable
Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
5 false myths, and 12 serious concerns.
One of the most confusing and difficult issues many adult children of narcissistic parents face is how to navigate the relationship between our children and our parents.
Even after identifying the dysfunction in our parents and acknowledging the neglect and abuse we grew up with, we may make misguided assumptions about our parents as grandparents that can have serious consequences for ourselves and our children.
5 False Assumptions About Narcissistic Grandparents
1. My parents will be better with my child(ren) than they were with me. The idea that our narcissistic parents will care about our kids more or treat them better than they did us is a form of wishful thinking that reflects underlying self-blame for our parents’ deficiencies. It is common for adult children to continue to carry the belief, consciously or unconsciously, that we are inherently unlovable and at fault for the ways our parents harmed us. We may think that our kids will elicit the love from our parents that we could not. Every child is lovable and deserving of nurturance and protection. People who are narcissistic do not care about....
Read More on: Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
https://wisdombeats.substack.com/p/should-narcissistic-grandparents
this is the only life advice i need from a stranger
Coffee one got me
That brought some real pleasure to my day- thank you!
There is joy in melancholy
So dark, it reveals the brightest lights shining from afar!
Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
5 false myths, and 12 serious concerns.
One of the most confusing and difficult issues many adult children of narcissistic parents face is how to navigate the relationship between our children and our parents.
Even after identifying the dysfunction in our parents and acknowledging the neglect and abuse we grew up with, we may make misguided assumptions about our parents as grandparents that can have serious consequences for ourselves and our children.
5 False Assumptions About Narcissistic Grandparents
1. My parents will be better with my child(ren) than they were with me. The idea that our narcissistic parents will care about our kids more or treat them better than they did us is a form of wishful thinking that reflects underlying self-blame for our parents’ deficiencies. It is common for adult children to continue to carry the belief, consciously or unconsciously, that we are inherently unlovable and at fault for the ways our parents harmed us. We may think that our kids will elicit the love from our parents that we could not. Every child is lovable and deserving of nurturance and protection. People who are narcissistic do not care about....
Read More on: Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
https://wisdombeats.substack.com/p/should-narcissistic-grandparents
My 26 year old daughter just sent me this. (I happen to be reading Crime & Punishment right now.) It’s a treasure. I might have to get an “optimize despair” t-shirt. I’m sure it would confuse the tech bros here in Austin.
Unwittingly, I have been following this routine for years —minus the cold plunge.
Uber funny, i usually wake&bake, fuck coffee.
Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
5 false myths, and 12 serious concerns.
One of the most confusing and difficult issues many adult children of narcissistic parents face is how to navigate the relationship between our children and our parents.
Even after identifying the dysfunction in our parents and acknowledging the neglect and abuse we grew up with, we may make misguided assumptions about our parents as grandparents that can have serious consequences for ourselves and our children.
5 False Assumptions About Narcissistic Grandparents
1. My parents will be better with my child(ren) than they were with me. The idea that our narcissistic parents will care about our kids more or treat them better than they did us is a form of wishful thinking that reflects underlying self-blame for our parents’ deficiencies. It is common for adult children to continue to carry the belief, consciously or unconsciously, that we are inherently unlovable and at fault for the ways our parents harmed us. We may think that our kids will elicit the love from our parents that we could not. Every child is lovable and deserving of nurturance and protection. People who are narcissistic do not care about....
Read More on: Should Narcissistic Grandparents Be Kept Away From Kids?
https://wisdombeats.substack.com/p/should-narcissistic-grandparents
Apocalyptic Optimism is comforting.
Thank you for structuring the relentless pursuit I’ve built my routine on, of this absurd life. Someone carved from my own soul must have written this, and as I do all of this and more - happy to report that the detachment helps.
🤣🤣 this morning I was complaining about the cold/hot water situation….cold “plunges” it is…(no hot water at the moment) It’s like the universe heard me complain and it responded with your article….thank you
Fantastic